Successful Marriage

Ten secrets to a successful marriage. (not sure where I received these)

1. Happiness is not the most important thing. It comes and goes in the relationship. Successful couples learn to intentionally do things that will bring happiness back when life pulls it away.

2. Couples discover the value in just showing up. When it's tough and you don't know what to do, you need to hang in there and be there for your spouse. Seek opportunities to reduce stress and overcome challenges.

3. If you do what you always do, you will get the same result. Wise couples have learned to approach problems differently to get different results. Often minor changes in attitudes, approach and actions make a big difference.

4. Your attitude does matter. Bad attitudes often drive bad feelings and actions. Changing behavior is important but so is changing attitudes.

5. Change your mind, change your marriage. How couples think and what they believe about their spouse affects how they perceive each other. What they expect and how they treat their spouse matters greatly.

6. The grass is greenest where you water it. You need to resist the myth that someone else will make you happy. Learn to put your energy into making your self and your marriage better.

7. You can change your marriage by changing your self. Successful couples have learned that trying to change their spouse is like trying to push a rope - almost impossible. Often the only person we can change in our marriage is ourselves.

8. Love is a verb, not just a feeling. Everyday life wears away the "feel good side of marriage." Feelings, like happiness, will fluctuate. But real love is based on a couple's vows of commitment: "For better of for worse" - when it feels good and when it doesn't.

9. Marriage is often about fighting the battle between your ears.  Successful couples have learned to resist holding grudges, bringing up the past and remembering that they married an imperfect person - and so did their spouse.

10. A crisis doesn't mean the marriage is over. Crises are like storms: loud, scary and dangerous. But to get through a storm you have to keep driving. A crisis can be a new beginning. It's out of pain that great people and marriages are produced.

Romans 8:13 "for if you live according to the flesh, you will die; but if by the Spirit you put to death the deeds of the body, you will live."

God and believers each have a role in sanctification (the process of being made holy like God). It must be by the Holy Spirit and His power but the words "you put to death" shows that a person must take an active role in battling sinful habits.

Romans 8:15-16 "For you did not receive a spirit of slavery to fall back into fear, but you have received a spirit of adoption. When we cry, "Abba! Father!" it is that very Spirit bearing witness with our spirit that we are children of God..."

Christians are no longer slaves to sin but are adopted as children into God's family, as evidenced by the Spirit that cries out within them that God is their Abba (aramaic for Father).

Here are my special words for the week:

glory

woe

voice

heir

born again

how

perfected

Psalm 33:11 The plans of the Lord stand firm forever, the purposes of His heart through all generations."

But we must be prepared to wait on God's timing. His timing is precise, for God does things "at the very time" He has set. It is not for us to know His timing, and in fact we cannot know it - we must wait for it. Remember always you are loved and special to God. God will not disappoint those who wait on God with trust.

Speak Lord, your servant is listening and wanting to do Your will in Your way.